I'm running a half marathon this morning. Rather, I'm running 12 miles of a half marathon because the training schedule calls for a long run of 12 miles this week and there's no way I'm going to do more than is strictly required!
It's not a big deal. SuperAthlete J and I both knew we needed to run 12 this week. She heard about a half marathon in West Seattle -- "Salty's Inaugural Half Marathon" -- that was taking place this weekend and, amazingly, didn't cost anything. So we signed up, along with 73 other people (the event was capped at 75 runners).
So it's going to be a small group and a normal 12-mile run through a new neighborhood. I should be looking forward to it, right? Instead, I tossed and turned all night until fully awaking at 4am with the beginnings of an honest-to-god panic attack. I came downstairs to read and calm myself down ... by the time I pulled that off, it was 5:15 and too late to go back to bed: time to eat so I can get the meal digested in advance of the run.
Why am I so wigged about it? It's just a 12-mile run. And this general anxiety isn't restricted to the hours leading up to an organized running event ... I get antsy (to a lesser degree, but still) before every long run, even those I'm doing entirely on my own.
I'd like to try and turn this into a positive and say that I'm just getting fired up for the effort to come but instead what I'm thinking is that I'm sabotaging my performance during the run and will feel completely exhausted for the rest of the day. Not the best way to start out.
Now I'm going to go get dressed and do my wet, nervous West Seattle run. Wish me luck.
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